clutch wife, remember
to breathe, remember
George Floyd,
fear floods in, room congested.
A poet wrote me a poem
that tells me,
think of your son
when you first wake up
and I do but terror for
the risk to his soul,
his body, his
Black skin. This mom’s heart
is tumbling, even with
wife opening the curtain,
singing me good morning,
good morning, wild parrots
and cascading Pasadena
birdsong, cat kneading
and purring. Even then,
cannot calm when wife gets up to leave,
see three missed calls last night
probably just son telling me
about latest protest.
He made me laugh
at Highland Park march
when he said, Mom, look.
That white woman. Full Black
Panther regalia, knee high black
boots, black
coveralls and beret,
fist raised, standing in front
of that MLK mural on the wall
of that hipster coffee shop?
(Would this be her Instagram post?)
The woman, she looked at me, just said,
Your life matters.
Yes, it does, son
and I imagine
telling him this every day,
what I’ve always
told him:
his life matters.
Words sink into fear
stuck in throat,
legs still glued to bed,
gripped by galloping thoughts,
pull blanket over head.
Carla Sameth’s memoir, One Day on the Gold Line, was published July 2019. Her work on blended/unblended, queer, biracial and single parenting appears in a variety of literary journals and anthologies including The Rumpus, MUTHA Magazine, Brain,Child, Narratively, Longreads, Brevity Blog, Entropy, Full Grown People, Angels Flight Literary West, Anti-Heroin Chic, Global Poemic, and The Nervous Breakdown. Carla’s essay, “If This Is So, Why Am I?” was selected as a notable for the 2019 Best American Essays. A Pasadena Rose Poet, a Pride Poet with West Hollywood, and a former PEN in The Community Teaching Artist, Carla teaches creative writing to high school and university students, and to incarcerated youth. She has an MFA from Queens University of Charlotte (Latin America). Her chapbook, What Is Left is forthcoming with Dancing Girl Press. https://carlasameth.com/